You and I live our lives DOING stuff, day in and day out, moment by moment. We’re top notch do-ers, you and I! We do all this doing in order to get somewhere or have something, which will then have us BE someone.
That’s a lot to digest. Let’s simplify.
Take Alicia for example:
Alicia works really hard at her job with a publishing company. She’s motivated by a goal of paying off her mortgage in only 10 years and investing in a second home in the tropics. She’s certain that when she does that she’ll BE the calm and easeful person she’s always wanted to be. But not until then. For now – it’s hard work all the way.
This future vision keeps her in a mode of doing. There’s nothing wrong, as it guides her vision towards what she wants and it’s something she’s inspired by. Yet she doesn’t believe that she can be that person until she does enough hard work and get the mortgage paid off. She promises herself that when she does that she’ll have the experience of herself, the quality of life that she’s seeking, when she “gets there.
You and I do things backwards! There’s nothing the matter here by the way. It just doesn’t work to have quality of life and aliveness that’s available to us all!
Let’s consider it now from the other way around.
Consider if Alicia was to begin each day with who she chose to be first. She wakes up every morning, has her cold shower, does her deep breathing and creates herself as calm and easeful. With this as the foundation of her day, instead of driving to work rushed and annoyed at traffic, she goes with the flow, tunes into her favourite radio station and marvels at the beauty of the rising sun.
At work, when her colleague, Tim, doesn’t do what he said he’d do, she naturally feels annoyed. But remembering “calm and easeful” she chooses to have a calm and clear conversation with him in person instead of sending a grumpy email. Their conversation ends with him thanking her for talking to him about it and he invites her to come kayaking with friends that weekend.
Through the simple act of choosing to be calm and easeful, Alicia alters how her life goes, regardless of circumstances, by responding powerfully, rather than reacting. Her goal of paying off her mortgage off in 10 years doesn’t change. Who she chooses to be in the process does.
Check out the video on how to anchor yourself in BEING!
Allowing Space for when you Don’t
Because sometimes you won’t.
No matter how committed you are, or how many times you choose to come back to your I AM statement, sometimes you’re not going to. You forget. You choose not to. You become distracted. You can’t be bothered. You get pulled into life.
It’s okay. In fact, it’s perfect. It would be totally weird if you were perfect all the time! You wouldn’t learn much either because it’s in the moments that you’re not at your best that contain the most gold.
Your I AM statement isn’t about needing to be a certain way all the time. You’re not “wrong or bad” when you it doesn’t go the way you intend. You’re human and this is all a very natural part of this miraculous human experience we get to have. The secret is to allow your human-ness to be, not to let it run wild, but to allow it permission to be, and return again and again to who you’re committed to being.
Consider for a moment some of the things you say to yourself when you make yourself “wrong.” Things like, “You’re so stupid. You’ll never get this right. See? I told you that you couldn’t do it! You shouldn’t be feeling like this. Stop it!”
Sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves, even our own mother wouldn’t let us play with us! And there’s nothing wrong here either! It’s just that being hard on ourselves – doesn’t work.
Allow yourself space to be human. Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. Allow yourself to experience what you’re experiencing. And don’t forget to be the one who’s in the driver’s seat.